0rgan1zedcha0s (0rgan1zedcha0s) wrote in manic,

going through hell

I am a severe bipolar 1 with rapid cycling as well as severe anxiety and ptsd. I have recently been experiencing increasing manic symptoms. Yesterday it came to a head. I spent all of my money and cheated on my boyfriend. I dont even remember. He left me of course and im in so much pain and self loathing. I love him so much, we had even been discussing marraige. I dont know what to do. My mother committed suicide last year. The second person in my family to do so. Now im broke and homeless and heartbroken. I never meant to hurt him i love him so much
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