gone_89 (gone_89) wrote in manic,

bipolar me

 im just so sick of being bipolar....... its ruining my life. the memories i have...i have basically blocked so many of them out coz of how severe they were. i was manic at the time and did a lot of crazy things that i couldnt BELIEVE i did. they were SO embarrasing. they haunt me every day almost, and its been around two years ago. and i just cant forget. my memory is hazy but the feelings are so strong, still. i try not to think of details. but i have flashbacks. and i block them. yet i feel the pain more than ever. and i know what i did. and the problem is that i told some people about what i did thinking it will help me get over it, but oh YEAH SOME SUPPORT I GOT. i just embarrased myself even more. they just looked at me like a freak. and they have a right to. i mean i am one. i hate myself now. more than ever. i have no reason to love me. no one does. till when will i feel this way?!
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