0rgan1zedcha0s (0rgan1zedcha0s) wrote in manic,

going through hell

I am a severe bipolar 1 with rapid cycling as well as severe anxiety and ptsd. I have recently been experiencing increasing manic symptoms. Yesterday it came to a head. I spent all of my money and cheated on my boyfriend. I dont even remember. He left me of course and im in so much pain and self loathing. I love him so much, we had even been discussing marraige. I dont know what to do. My mother committed suicide last year. The second person in my family to do so. Now im broke and homeless and heartbroken. I never meant to hurt him i love him so much
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does your boyfriend know you are bipolar? I'm pretty open about my experiences and I find that helps get me leeway when my manias take over, but I'm also a mild case. I'd suggest trying to talk to him and suggest going to group counselling or something so you can help him understand that what happened was not your fault, because it wasn't. It wasn't your fault.